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What do you think when you hear the word ritual? You may think of grand ceremonies with nude people dancing around a large flame. You may think of something smaller, like sitting around a few candles on your bedroom floor with crystals scattered around on the night of a full moon. While those are some ways people go about their ritualistic practice, a ritual in itself is not about aesthetics; it’s about intention. A ritual is something done consistently to gain a desired outcome. Rituals don’t have to be some grand ordeal; they can be as simple as having a cup of tea every morning. While rituals can include worship of higher powers or wealth increase, I’m going to introduce you to the ways you can use rituals in your own self-care practice. Every day, I am learning that my spiritual well-being is as important as my physical well-being. I believe social media may have taught us that a face mask and a bubble bath is the one and only way to do self-care, but true self-care goes beyond the physical. I use rituals to enhance my view of myself, the world, and others, so that I can go about my day feeling comfortable living in my truth. My truth will look different from the next person’s, but for the sake of this article, I’ll give you an example. I know that I am a creative being that expresses herself through writing, fashion, and adventure. I may meet a person down the line who thinks my writing or fashion sucks, which is their own valid opinion. Another day, I may have writer’s block, or only wear sweatpants and a stained t-shirt for a week. If I am neglecting my spiritual practice or rituals, I may fall into believing that I am not a creative being, just a boring, dull person. To work through this I start my ritual with a cleanse. I smoke cleanse my space with whatever I have on hand, sometimes I crush dried lavender and rosemary. (I do have to add, if you are smoke cleansing please use materials that are ethically sourced and appropriate to your culture and practice.) After I cleanse my space I light my anointed black or white candles for protection and call the presence of my ancestors. Once I can feel that my space is protected, it’s time to cleanse myself by taking a shower or bath and visualizing all stagnant energy leaving my energy space to free up my creative block. After that I hydrate, put on clothes that make me feel good, and dance around my room. I’ve found that dancing to my native music like bachata or twerking it out truly releases any blocks within me. If I continue to practice my rituals, I will be strong enough to not let those things blind me from the truth. Your own personal truths are still true, even if someone else doesn’t think so; it is up to you to decide what kind of life to live. I am on a journey of self, which means that I am not looking for ascension or trying to become my “best self,” but am looking to honor each phase of life I am in, even if that doesn’t look pretty. My main goal is to be able to flow like water through life without letting intrusive thoughts tell me I am unworthy of my desired reality. It’s easier said than done, but it’s the small actions that create a massive impact. While I am a fan of extravagant rituals that take hours to complete, I know that the real work starts from within. Let me share ways you can turn small, everyday tasks into magic, and how to bring rituals into your everyday life. Discover Your Desired Reality The first step to any lifestyle change or transformation is asking yourself what it is you truly want. You will need to go deeper than what you see on the surface. For example, if you want to be a more compassionate person, why do you want that? If you want to be a morning person, what will that bring you? Why do you want to be the person you desire? Is it out of love for yourself, or are you trying to become someone others will like more? Be as honest as possible. At the end of the day, it is your life.I am not here to tell you what kind of life you should be living, but I will tell you to be true to you. It is okay if you don’t know what you want or who you want to be; the beauty of self discovery is that there's no “starting point.” We are constantly living in a state of self discovery. We learn what we do and don’t like in everyday life. Put yourself out there and try new things; see what feels good and what doesn’t! When starting your ritual planning, write down this reality in the present, as if you already have it. Ask Yourself “Why?” The next step is asking yourself why you think you haven’t reached such a reality yet. Is there a blockage physically, emotionally, or mentally? You need to become aware of what is setting you back in order to move forward. When prepping for your ritual, state how you will release these blockages and actively work towards releasing them everyday. Let’s use the example of wanting to love yourself more, but you have an emotional and mental blockage that tells you that you aren’t worthy of love. First of all, that’s not true--fuck that voice in your head. Second, you will need to realize that this is a conditioned belief that probably started ages ago. You have two options from here: you can do your shadow work, or you can go straight into change. Shadow work is where you look into your past to find the root of the issue, and then work towards changing or accepting that. It’s done best with the help of a mental health professional or spiritual counselor; going back into past trauma alone can be traumatic in itself. I personally started my shadow work alone, but that does not work for everybody. Now, I work with my therapist, and it has been a lot better for me along with my spiritual practice. The second option is to just skip the shadow work and jump into change. There is nothing wrong with this option because shadow work isn’t for everyone. Once you’ve decided you want to love yourself more, it’s now time to create a plan to prove it to yourself. You’ll need to identify the ways you self sabotage and counteract that. If you tend to neglect your emotions and/or ignore them with distractions such as social media, sex, substance abuse etc. You’ll need to find ways that help you express those emotions. Whether you allow yourself the space to cry, journal, or see a mental health professional, it’ll all be a step in the right direction. Everyday will be a challenge but as time goes on the challenge will get easier and soon be seen as an enjoyable act of self love. Now that we are ready for change, it’s time to explore our options. My favorite way of loving myself more is dating myself! Find out the ways you want to be loved and give it to yourself. Personally, I need words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, and I always love a good gift. Knowing this, I make time to take myself on dates, speak nice words to myself, hug myself, and get myself random treats. You don’t have to be single to date yourself because this act is an act of prioritizing yourself and putting your wellbeing into your own hands. Take Accountability One of the most important steps is to take accountability for the ways you have strayed yourself from this desired reality, and forgive the person you have been in the past. If there is anyone worthy of forgiveness in your life, it’s you. You have the option to do this verbally, or just think it for as long as you need. You could say something along the lines of this: “I forgive myself for all the ways I have let myself down in the past.” Another powerful way I love to do this is writing a letter to my past self and writing all the ways I am sorry, along with all I am proud of her for. Figure Out Your Intention Intention is everything! Your intention for your ritual needs to be as clear as possible. Get very specific; the last thing you want is to manifest something you don’t actually want. For example if you want peace of mind, write down something like, “I live in peace and clarity. I attract all that brings me peace of mind and release all that doesn’t.” Now here is the hard part: don’t worry about the how, because once you start putting up those expectations, the harder it will be to attract. You want to leave room for the universe to work its magic, because this universe isn’t binary, and the possibilities are endless. One of the first things I’ve learned during my practice is to cast that spell, then forget about it. In this case, it may be to manifest that thing and then forget about it. This doesn’t mean to completely forget about what you want, but it means not to dwell on it. You don’t want to place your happiness on the thing you want to attract, because happiness is fleeting. You don’t want to come from a place of lack, or a place where you believe you will never be happy without that thing. Work towards your goal, but don’t give up all your power in the pursuit of happiness. Create a routine and/or plan that ritual Now it is time to put in the work. The way I choose to go about this is to start with a ritual ceremony I’ve catered to my way of doing things. Then, I have a routine that benefits my intention after said ritual. This doesn’t have to be complicated; as I’ve said , these tips are for everyday people. Make time everyday or every week dedicated to your intention. Here are some examples:
How I incorporate rituals into my life I’m going to be honest: I am terrible at consistency. I find it hard to stick to a routine, especially with Bipolar II disorder, and just being an ever-changing Gemini. But it’s comforting to know that I will always have my practice to come back to. It’s not always about doing these things everyday, but knowing you have tools, and using them when needed. For instance, I have incorporated rituals into my hygiene routine. Whenever I feel like I need it, as I shower or wash my face, I visualize all stagnant energy washing away from my aura. Then, as I moisturize, I send the energy of nourishment into my body and to my heart's center. When I drink tea, I speak whatever intention I am feeling into it, and I walk with that intention throughout my day. And, most importantly for me, I come back to my grounding yoga practice that allows my body, mind, and soul to just free flow. Among these things, I also journal…a lot. I always have so much to say, but I don’t always say it. I give myself tarot readings, surrounded by candle light and frankincense. I dance wildly after my moon rituals for the simple fact that it feels good. My rituals allow me to feel free, even when I am so consumed by society. My rituals remind me that there is so much more to life than what we see. My rituals remind me that I am my home, no matter where I go. I hope that incorporating rituals into your everyday lives makes you feel as free as I do. Prioritizing yourself is the ultimate form of self love, and I am so proud of how far you’ve come. If no one has told you today, I love you, I see your progress, and I hope you keep living life radically free. About the Author
Ariel is a nineteen-year-old, latinx second generation American journalist/writer. As a witchcraft practitioner and spiritualist she focuses on diving into the world of the occult and sharing their stories. Along with that, she enjoys writing personal essays and short story fiction. Ariel is a certified bookworm, tree-hugger, and anime lover.
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Pride Merch Collections By Companies That Don't Forget Queer People Exist Once June Is Over6/14/2021 Pride Month is the time of the year where we celebrate the LGBTQIA+ community and queer folks tell the world that we are proud of our sexuality and gender. It’s the time where we remember how far we’ve gone and how our queer ancestors got us here. It’s also the time when stores like Walmart remember that gay people exist and that some even have money. Capitalism has this magical ability to make every moment into money. When you look at the Pride collections, you can tell that some of these were just made to make companies more money. Most of these companies have never collaborated with a queer artist who may actually know what type of pride merchandise queer people actually want. Stores like Shein just put together all of their rainbow clothes and called it their “Pride Collection.'' A lot of companies are stepping up and donating to LGBTQIA+ charities this year. However this year why don’t celebrate pride merch designs made by the LGBTQIA+ community or made by companies that will give some of the money back to the LGBTQIA+ community. Our Pride and our fight for equality doesn’t end when June is over, so let’s support businesses that celebrate our pride all year long. Let’s start with an iconic queer brand, Teletubbies. Teletubbies Yep, it’s the Teletubbies you are thinking about. Teletubbies has been an important brand in the queer community for a long time. The purple Teletubby was accused of being gay in the 1990’s by televangelist Jerry Falwell because of its purple color (purple is part of the gay pride color), as well the triangle on top of its head being the same shape of the gay pride symbol. The queer community started to accepted the purple Teletubby as a member of their own community. The purple Teletubby was even called a queer role model for toddlers. Now, the childhood show has started their own Pride merchandise line that gives back to queer community; some of the proceeds go to GLAAD, the LGBTQ+ media organization.  We Are Femme Forte “Gay” and “sustainable” are the two words I would use to describe this amazing brand. We Are Femme Forte started as a way to help raise money to open a LGBTQ+ community centre in London. The owner, Zoe Schulz, also wanted to start a brand that was kind to our planet to show that we don’t need fast fashion to have a good sense of style, and that we should tell bigger brands that we demand our clothing be made in an ethical, environmentally-friendly way. Since the brand has started, they were able to open an LGBTQ+ center in London. The brand is focused on helping homeless LGBTQ+ youth and support families of transgender children and help people with periods get access to period products. Every collection has a different cause it goes towards. We Are Femme Forte goes out of their way to make clothing that makes you feel about how you spend your money.  Heckin Unicorn This is a brand that truly loves their community. According to their website, Heckin Unicorn describes themselves as a “Singapore-base queer brand that’s made by queer people, for queer people.” Throughout this June, the brand is pledging 10% of sales toward TransBefrienders and Action for AIDS. TransBefrienders helps trans youth in Singapore find peer support and succeed in their education by providing tutoring, mentorships, and a safe space for studying. Action for AIDS focuses on helping people living with AIDS in South and South-East Asia. The brand has spoken out against Conversion Therapy (it still remains legal in Singapore). Heckin Unicorn is focus on helping the queer community in Singapore and making sure queer people have access to the support they need. 
I did not fully understand how offensive certain sexist terms can be. That was until I stayed up till 4 am one night after an interpersonal conflict with a family member, where they told me to stop “bickering” when I suggested something that clearly made them frustrated in an already stressful situation. I felt insulted and had to wonder why a word as common in arguments as “bickering” triggered me so much. It bothered me so much that it called for some self-reflection, after which I realised I was angry because I felt wronged and dehumanised by a gendered stereotype. It didn’t take too long to become aware of the fact that words like “nagging,” “bickering,” and “quarrelsome” are often reserved for women specifically. We have all seen women speaking up for themselves who were silenced by a combination of similar words attributed to them. We’ve seen women who were gaslighted into silence because men disapproved of their expression of outrage over being wronged. We’ve seen wives shut out for voicing their concerns, or called annoying for not being direct. I began to think: Why is it that when men express themselves they decide, announce, and command but when women do the same they are found nagging, bickering, and repeating themselves? When these questions popped up in my mind, I did an internet dive to find some answers and came upon a history far more sinister than I could’ve ever imagined. How could we not be enraged by words such as these when history is tainted with the blood of our female ancestors subjected to torture and humiliation for the very same reasons? Scold’s bridle, Shrew’s fiddle, ducking stool, and thewe are just some of the known medieval torture devices used to punish women for bickering, nagging, annoying their husband or neighbours, and gossiping.
You associate their entire being with certain exaggerated gestures and actions--in this case, a mental image of a middle-aged woman with unkempt hair wagging a finger in your face and stomping her feet. This makes it difficult for you to take them seriously, listen to them or empathize with them, leading to the dehumanization of women using sexist tropes. Why do women “nag?” It’s because, for most of history, women were second class citizens, half a person, cattle, or less. When women couldn’t vote, own property, get a divorce, provide for themselves, and had to socially depend on men, the patriarchy penalised them for the one thing they could do to have some semblance of power: talk. All it takes to become a nag is asking your boyfriend to spend time with his children after work, asking a man to do a chore and him ignoring you so that you have to repeat it until it becomes annoying, and then doing it yourself while feeling guilty about your own unpleasant nagging behaviour. “As old as Sibyl and as curst and shrewd as Socrates’ Xanthippe, or worse.” Shakespeare, Taming of the Shrew Literature and pop culture is chock full of examples of the nagging wife stereotype. From Socrates’ insufferable wife Xanthippe (who is infamous for being a nag and making him miserable) to “Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew” to Mrs. Bennet (the unnamed wife, the one Jane Austen character we all love to hate), examples of the nagging wife are everywhere. Many shows and films also employ this sexist stereotype, such as the “Breaking Bad” character Skylar White (who had a Facebook page calling for her death because of how annoying her character was), “Dexter’s” Rita, and “Mad Men’s” Betty Draper, to name a few. In film, theatre, and stand-up comedy, the nagging woman caricature is often used for comedic relief and slapstick. Many vintage posters, films (like “A Girl In A Million”), ad billboards today, and stickers have made money perpetuating this nagging wife stereotype. When you google “nagging wife,” you come across article upon article on renowned platforms all reading along the lines of “5 Ways to Stop Her Nagging,”, “Why Do Women Nag so Much?,” etc. Like this momjunction article titled "5 Signs Of A Nagging Wife And How To Stop Being One," this WikiHow on "How To Deal With A Nagging Wife," the one thing shared by most of these articles is that they're either directed towards women to correct them or towards men telling them why these nagging women are ruining their lives. Rarely if ever do they explore the possibility that perhaps if you listened to her and respected her she wouldn't have to repeat herself a bajillion times. “So what?” a man might say. “Isn’t making a joke out of it the right way to go about it? It’s not like we’re still torturing women for nagging.” Time and time again, studies like "Sexist humor and beliefs that justify societal sexism" published in CRISP at University of Iowa and "A Framework For Thinking about the (not-so-funny) Effects of Sexist Humor" published in Europe's Journal of Psychology have revealed that sexist humour and stereotypes are not unharmful, that they aid in the establishment of gender imbalances, and that they justify a system that already disadvantages women. But if that isn’t convincing, the search results for “nagging woman murdered” are grim enough to show us the ugly side of this humorous stereotype.
used the word 'bickering' for me, we sat down to have this conversation one night before bed. I told them to listen while I talk because it was really important to me that they understood before reacting. I shared with them how prevalent this stereotype is in pop culture, media, and our society in general. I pointed out a few examples of women around us who are victims of this stereotype on a daily basis: friends, housewives, and aunts, and how it gaslights them, ruins their self esteem, and hurts the ability to express themselves. They agreed that they fell prey to using a common sexist stereotype and promised never to use terms like “bickering” and “nagging” again in regards to women. They then said, "Thank you for making me aware of this issue I had no knowledge of, and thank you for taking the time to correct me" To all my sisters, we see these patterns and caricatures of womanhood, disturbing us all. Most of us had some older loudmouthed woman in our life who used her words to get her way, she was criticised and made fun of for that, and we promised ourselves we’d never be annoying like that--until we were. I hope that you don’t beat yourself up or wonder what’s wrong with you the next time a man subjects you to this sexist stereotype. For the transgenerational trauma we shoulder, our collective rage is righteous.
Oprah with Meghan and Harry was filmed in an idyllic garden in California. Without cynical scrutiny or harsh examination from the outside world, Meghan Markle candidly shared unanticipated details of her repressed life as a member of the British royal family for the first time. In contrast to the couple’s bliss permeated in the interview released in 2017—when their engagement was first announced—the interview with Oprah was loaded with bombshells of abuse and racism that Markle experienced in the UK: the cruelty of the British tabloids' scorn and ridicule aimed at her, the apathy of the monarchy regarding her predicament, and the suicidal thoughts she suffered through during her pregnancy because of the poor treatment she received. But some royal watchers or casual viewers who were interested in the matter suspected that Markle’s progressive values were ingenuine. Some simply dismissed it as another click-bait headline derived from the fanatic media attention coming after her. Whether the public resonated with these views or not, the hurt Markle suffered from living in the palace was palpable in the interview. And the compassion we need to muster for her, or for anyone--celebrity or ordinary people--who fall victim to such traumas should never be submerged into the deep end of fresh opinions and smart theories. Why did all of these adversities happen to her, and who enabled them? These are the hard questions we might need to ask if we choose not to treat Markle’s trauma as another sensational, yet meaningless celebrity news we all consume. Rather, her story underpins some persistent structural patterns in our society that elicit suffering to many, often regardless of our social status. The Tabloids’ Attacks and Racism Markle’s plight was a direct consequence of the British tabloids' incessant and ruthless smear campaign targeting her. Oprah mentioned a few in their interview, from “Hurricane Meghan” to a made-up story the tabloids fabricated, in which Markle was the one to blame regarding a rift between her and Kate Middleton. But Markle disclosed to Oprah that, in reality, “the reverse happened.” Somehow, the tabloids obtained the story about the rift, distorted it, and caricatured Markle as a rude and mean woman “who made Kate cry.” The tabloids not only twist and alter the facts, but they also deploy a harsher standard to negatively evaluate Markle--something we can also name as racism. The first sign of Markle’s suffering wasn’t revealed until the birth of her first child, Archie. In a documentary that recorded the couple’s trip to Africa by ITV, there was one point where it looked as if she desperately wanted to say something to the journalist, but not many words were uttered, except, “Thank you for asking, because not many people have asked if I’m okay. But it’s... It’s a very real thing to be going through behind the scenes.” As constrained and helpless as she was, what she conveyed silently through her dark eyes was louder and more heart-breaking than words. We all know racism is a complex, yet somehow well-functioning “ecosystem.” It contains endless energy from sturdy institutions and people to sustain it, if not increasingly emboldening it. But for those on the receiving end, racism often creeps in everyday life via microaggressions, just like the tabloids' regular attacks on Markle. Over time, it has the capability to accumulate in volumes and find occasions to explode in a way that makes its subjects feel hopeless and defenseless. Markle is not an exception. The Stony Castle and She What made things worse for Markle was the indifference of the monarchy toward her plight. In the interview with Oprah, when Markle referred to the monarchy, she made a distinction between the management within the institution and the family, especially of the Queen, who Markle fondly mentioned several times. But the scar the monarchy inflicted in general on Markle still felt fresh. From what she revealed, the monarchy neither intended to protect her from the attacks of the tabloids nor to lend a hand when she suffered from a mental health crisis. Alternatively, they left her defenceless and isolated, despite her actively seeking help from the institution. A question might be raised: if it is true, why would the monarchy do that? In 2018, the British comedian John Oliver first pointed out the value difference between Markle and the British royal family which might cause her to suffer. “I would not blame her if she pulled out of this at the last minute,” he jokingly replied to Stephen Colbert who asked about his thoughts on Meghan’s marriage to the royal family. It was months before her wedding in May 2018, and many across the world seemed to be waiting for the actualization of a new royal fairy tale in bated breath. Against the public sentiment, John Oliver surprisingly indicated the hardships Markle might have to face in the monarchy in The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: “They are an emotionally stunted group of fundamentally flawed people doing a very silly pseudo-job. That’s what she is marrying into. So I hope she likes it. It is going to be weird for her.” Markle has embraced progressive values, such as speaking out against injustice and empowering women, for years before joining the family. But the values she advocated for are usually at odds with the monarchy—they often seek to disclose and change the inadequacies of the authority, and the British monarchy is, in a sense, an authority itself. Although it is not easy to accurately understand an institution without being an insider of it, the logic behind those who run an institution that is traditional and monolithic often shares some common threads. First, it operates stubbornly in its own way. And those who oppose it could be regarded as a threat that needs to be tossed. The proposals raised by a not-submissive woman could potentially expose deficits of the monarchy and damage its lofty image. Markle’s demand for mental health treatment could uncover the suffering she experienced under the care of the palace, or her rejection of the mistreatment of her son could disclose the racism within the monarchy. Moreover, with too much material abundance at hand, it is very “inconvenient” for those in charge of the royal family to change, not to mention if the noises were made by a person whose skin is dark and whose birthplace is foreign. Therefore, instead of treating Markle’s demands as opportunities to improve the institution, the monarchy chose to ignore and silence her as the better way for itself to remain dominating in the “ball game.” Scripts like these between a corruptive institution and powerless individuals are old and persistent. Even if in this version of the story, the latter is a woman with money and fame, the toll it took on her for being in such a position probably would not be significantly less severe. Yet, is the “powerless” indeed weakly power-less? The Advent When Markle allowed the world to know the suicidal ideation she endured in the UK, she had already broken away from the institution and is now carving out a new life in the United States. The determination to revert her dire situation was resolute through several phrases and approaches she and her husband Harry have taken since 2019. They stepped down as senior members of the royal family, became financially independent from the monarchy, and relocated their home to California—Markle’s hometown in 2020. Since 2019, Harry has launched several lawsuits against the British tabloids to fight back against their aggression towards Markle. Although experiencing traumas and hardships like these could be devastating, Markle and her husband have worked together to face up to the pains. They have actively found ways out of the difficulties to resist the script that is written for them, by either the tabloids or the monarchy, and pen down their own stories. During the interview, the most exuberant moment was perhaps the announcement of the imminent arrival of Markle’s second child—a baby girl—into her family in summer this year. Now staying thousands-miles away from the stony castle, Markle is reconnecting with an authentic community and embracing the environs she is familiar with. The healing and regrowth journey of her and her family seems to be on the right track: while she is braving out of the pain, a new life has already arrived. (The couple’s daughter was born in June 2021, and they named her Lilibet.) About the Author
bio
Oprah with Meghan and Harry was filmed in an idyllic garden in California. Without cynical scrutiny or harsh examination from the outside world, Meghan Markle candidly shared unanticipated details of her repressed life as a member of the British royal family for the first time. In contrast to the couple’s bliss permeated in the interview released in 2017—when their engagement was first announced—the interview with Oprah was loaded with bombshells of abuse and racism that Markle experienced in the UK: the cruelty of the British tabloids' scorn and ridicule aimed at her, the apathy of the monarchy regarding her predicament, and the suicidal thoughts she suffered through during her pregnancy because of the poor treatment she received. But some royal watchers or casual viewers who were interested in the matter suspected that Markle’s progressive values were ingenuine. Some simply dismissed it as another click-bait headline derived from the fanatic media attention coming after her. Whether the public resonated with these views or not, the hurt Markle suffered from living in the palace was palpable in the interview. And the compassion we need to muster for her, or for anyone--celebrity or ordinary people--who fall victim to such traumas should never be submerged into the deep end of fresh opinions and smart theories. Why did all of these adversities happen to her, and who enabled them? These are the hard questions we might need to ask if we choose not to treat Markle’s trauma as another sensational, yet meaningless celebrity news we all consume. Rather, her story underpins some persistent structural patterns in our society that elicit suffering to many, often regardless of our social status. The Tabloids’ Attacks and Racism Markle’s plight was a direct consequence of the British tabloids' incessant and ruthless smear campaign targeting her. Oprah mentioned a few in their interview, from “Hurricane Meghan” to a made-up story the tabloids fabricated, in which Markle was the one to blame regarding a rift between her and Kate Middleton. But Markle disclosed to Oprah that, in reality, “the reverse happened.” Somehow, the tabloids obtained the story about the rift, distorted it, and caricatured Markle as a rude and mean woman “who made Kate cry.” The tabloids not only twist and alter the facts, but they also deploy a harsher standard to negatively evaluate Markle--something we can also name as racism. The first sign of Markle’s suffering wasn’t revealed until the birth of her first child, Archie. In a documentary that recorded the couple’s trip to Africa by ITV, there was one point where it looked as if she desperately wanted to say something to the journalist, but not many words were uttered, except, “Thank you for asking, because not many people have asked if I’m okay. But it’s... It’s a very real thing to be going through behind the scenes.” As constrained and helpless as she was, what she conveyed silently through her dark eyes was louder and more heart-breaking than words. We all know racism is a complex, yet somehow well-functioning “ecosystem.” It contains endless energy from sturdy institutions and people to sustain it, if not increasingly emboldening it. But for those on the receiving end, racism often creeps in everyday life via microaggressions, just like the tabloids' regular attacks on Markle. Over time, it has the capability to accumulate in volumes and find occasions to explode in a way that makes its subjects feel hopeless and defenseless. Markle is not an exception. The Stony Castle and She What made things worse for Markle was the indifference of the monarchy toward her plight. In the interview with Oprah, when Markle referred to the monarchy, she made a distinction between the management within the institution and the family, especially of the Queen, who Markle fondly mentioned several times. But the scar the monarchy inflicted in general on Markle still felt fresh. From what she revealed, the monarchy neither intended to protect her from the attacks of the tabloids nor to lend a hand when she suffered from a mental health crisis. Alternatively, they left her defenceless and isolated, despite her actively seeking help from the institution. A question might be raised: if it is true, why would the monarchy do that? In 2018, the British comedian John Oliver first pointed out the value difference between Markle and the British royal family which might cause her to suffer. “I would not blame her if she pulled out of this at the last minute,” he jokingly replied to Stephen Colbert who asked about his thoughts on Meghan’s marriage to the royal family. It was months before her wedding in May 2018, and many across the world seemed to be waiting for the actualization of a new royal fairy tale in bated breath. Against the public sentiment, John Oliver surprisingly indicated the hardships Markle might have to face in the monarchy in The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: “They are an emotionally stunted group of fundamentally flawed people doing a very silly pseudo-job. That’s what she is marrying into. So I hope she likes it. It is going to be weird for her.” Markle has embraced progressive values, such as speaking out against injustice and empowering women, for years before joining the family. But the values she advocated for are usually at odds with the monarchy—they often seek to disclose and change the inadequacies of the authority, and the British monarchy is, in a sense, an authority itself. Although it is not easy to accurately understand an institution without being an insider of it, the logic behind those who run an institution that is traditional and monolithic often shares some common threads. First, it operates stubbornly in its own way. And those who oppose it could be regarded as a threat that needs to be tossed. The proposals raised by a not-submissive woman could potentially expose deficits of the monarchy and damage its lofty image. Markle’s demand for mental health treatment could uncover the suffering she experienced under the care of the palace, or her rejection of the mistreatment of her son could disclose the racism within the monarchy. Moreover, with too much material abundance at hand, it is very “inconvenient” for those in charge of the royal family to change, not to mention if the noises were made by a person whose skin is dark and whose birthplace is foreign. Therefore, instead of treating Markle’s demands as opportunities to improve the institution, the monarchy chose to ignore and silence her as the better way for itself to remain dominating in the “ball game.” Scripts like these between a corruptive institution and powerless individuals are old and persistent. Even if in this version of the story, the latter is a woman with money and fame, the toll it took on her for being in such a position probably would not be significantly less severe. Yet, is the “powerless” indeed weakly power-less? The Advent When Markle allowed the world to know the suicidal ideation she endured in the UK, she had already broken away from the institution and is now carving out a new life in the United States. The determination to revert her dire situation was resolute through several phrases and approaches she and her husband Harry have taken since 2019. They stepped down as senior members of the royal family, became financially independent from the monarchy, and relocated their home to California—Markle’s hometown in 2020. Since 2019, Harry has launched several lawsuits against the British tabloids to fight back against their aggression towards Markle. Although experiencing traumas and hardships like these could be devastating, Markle and her husband have worked together to face up to the pains. They have actively found ways out of the difficulties to resist the script that is written for them, by either the tabloids or the monarchy, and pen down their own stories. During the interview, the most exuberant moment was perhaps the announcement of the imminent arrival of Markle’s second child—a baby girl—into her family in summer this year. Now staying thousands-miles away from the stony castle, Markle is reconnecting with an authentic community and embracing the environs she is familiar with. The healing and regrowth journey of her and her family seems to be on the right track: while she is braving out of the pain, a new life has already arrived. (The couple’s daughter was born in June 2021, and they named her Lilibet.) About the Author
Yuning always finds beauty in simple and pure things. She loves spending time with the ocean, and enjoys the taste and experience of drinking coffee everyday. By sitting in a busy cafe, she writes quite efficiently. Sometimes she also reads the works from the authors she admires there, such as Peter Hessler and the tender depiction of ordinary people in his hands. She received her Ph.D. in media and communications from Australia, and likes the conversation between the rationality of reasoning and the fervor of pop culture.
Netflix and Ryan Murphy Productions continue their prosperous relationship with their newest venture, a miniseries named Halston. The five-episode miniseries gives the audience ample time to get used to Halston as a brand, and occasionally as a person. The miniseries follows the life of Roy “Halston” Frowick, the founder and head designer of the fashion house Halston that gained popularity in late 1960s and through the 1970s and 80s. The series follows Halston, played by Ewan McGregor, from the birth of his fashion brand, to the end of his life. The miniseries is based on the book “Simply Halston” by Stephen Gaines. The show has several important signatures of a Ryan Murphy Productions piece. We follow a queer main character through an iconic time period in history. There’s an all-star cast to provide the realism to the occasionally campy but not completely out of this world dialogue. The music selection is spectacular. Going back and forth between the mod summer of love 60’s music, to coked out disco, to synthy dreamy 80’s moments. However, that main theme felt like it was missing consistent exploration throughout the series. The show attempts to grapple with the idea of Halston the person versus Halston the brand throughout. We get glimpses into the person when he’s at his most vulnerable searching for protection, or for love after something very difficult. These only happen infrequently and early in the show. It makes the theme feel weak instead of a theme we need to pay attention to when they bring it back around for episode five. The writers don’t fully flesh out the theme; like they don't have the time to answer the question they pose, only present it to the audience. Which can’t work if your source material doesn’t continue on to answer the question. Halston’s life can’t continue past its end. So it’s up to the show to have an opinion on the theme it gives us. Halston doesn’t do that. One of the main reasons to turn on the show is Ewan McGregor’s performance as Halston. McGregor tackles the character’s exciting and darker moments with choices the expansion of emotion that isn’t reigned in. Ever. Whether it’s locking himself in a car during a huge fashion show, walking out of the middle of a perfume pitch meeting where the only word he’s said the whole time is ‘no’, to throwing a phone at a coworker. McGregor gives Halston a distinct voice and body that moves through space like an imposing, graceful force, as well as something that breathes rarified air. We see the occasional blow ups, like hitting someone who is blackmailing him, but what we see is a real person underneath a mask, a cover, a label. It’s difficult to make both the man, Halston, and the image Halston curated for his fashion house at the same time. McGregor is able to find a balance that propels through the rest of the show. It’s difficult to take your eyes off him. Through the whole show, we see Halston grow and change for each episode. McGregor’s acting is a high point of this because it’s almost as if you are watching a different type of Halston episode to episode to the point where it feels almost inconsistent. That’s not McGregor’s fault. That’s a behind the scenes problem. The show didn’t do a great job of weaving in the theme of identity vs brand consistently through all five episodes. Halston the man is someone with uncompromising ambition. Someone desperate to prove his worth by notoriety and allure from the elite. The brand appears easy, languid and smooth. It’s not that he doesn’t accomplish his goals of being prestigious and glamorous, it’s that he shuts off his vulnerabilities to be perceived the same way as the fashion brand he created. The problem is when these two things aren’t seen in sync or against each other. It feels like something the audience is supposed to notice for one scene then gets lost in some sort of spectacular flash in another. When the audience sees Halston becoming a characterized version of himself with the slicked back hair, and the bronzer and the turtleneck in the bathroom of episode one, the audience can understand this is Halston the brand overcoming Halston the man. However, we get lost when we see his mask slip for the sake of having to perform under pressure in episode two. It gets lost again, when the mask is on, then off while he’s partying at Studio 54 in episode three, and on and on we go. While McGregor works to set up these moments of vulnerability for the audience, the writers undermine him by making his personal moments rather tepid and forgettable for the sake of some flash. It’s at best confusing and at worst inconsistent. So if you’re watching Halston for McGregor’s performance, keep this in mind. Another performance worth noting is Krysta Rodriguez as Liza Minelli. Krysta Rodriguez can perform and sing the role beautifully; which is a bare minimum. Minelli is a noted actress, singer and dancer who was known for a long time simply as the daughter of Judy Garland. However she grew into her own performer and became a winner of the acting triple crown (winning an Emmy, Tony and Academy Award) by 1973. Krysta Rodriguez brings in the old confidante voice of reason who’s seen it all in show business, to a young and energetic character. Liza’s speeches and moments of counsel to Halston were some of my favorite scenes, and it hits harder if you know a little about Minelli’s life before seeing the show. Halston is a show that occasionally sacrifices moments for these real people to be seen as real for pomp and glamour. Instead of seeing how Halston is having a problem with dealing with the excesses of his success, we get a montage of him going to Studio 54 almost every evening. With Ryan Murphy productions, it’s known you’re going to get two things: usually queer history that’s not exactly true and beautiful visuals. I’m not naive enough to think that people are watching a show about a famous fashion designer because they wanted something gritty and realistic. I watched it partially because of the visuals. Sometimes, though, it feels like these characters are sacrificed to become shelled archetypes instead of actual people who led actual lives. Halston goes from a passionate and volatile artist to a raging bully who yells at his secretary for more cocaine in the fitting room. Victor Hugo goes from only wanting love and respect from Halston to the spurned lover looking for a paycheck. Elsa and Joe go from trusted collaborators to the friends pushed away after success. While archetypes are useful, and I’m not saying these incidents didn’t happen nor that they weren’t well written or compelling to watch, I’m curious about why we couldn’t have just a little more reality in a biographical show. These sorts of stories are a usual for Ryan Murphy Productions. Ryan Murphy Productions takes on something like Halston, or something like Pose, which similarly, uses a niche period of queer history, spectacle, and biting witty dialogue to showcase its main storyline, or “The Normal Heart”, still a distinct period of queer history, with it’s own sort of realistic and gritty aesthetic instead of spectacle, but with the same sort of wit and bite even if it’s not written by Ryan Murphy, then it goes on Netflix or HBO. Where there are the people like me who watch it because they want to see what Ryan Murphy and his compatriots (for Halston, Sharr White and Daniel Minihan) are going to do with this moment of queer history. The other people who watch it, because Netflix, HBO and Ryan Murphy Productions all want to make money as well as tell compelling stories, are people who have no idea about Halston. Or people who clicked simply because they saw Ewan McGregor was in it. That’s its appeal. It’s for both the people who know about Halston, and those who may need education on the subject. It made me curious if the show couldn’t balance educating those who didn’t know context versus those who knew the subject material. It also brings up an important question: is it a creator’s job to fully educate the audience who know next to nothing about the subject when telling stories of real people and history? I’m not sure I have the answer. Maybe the answer is no. Maybe the answer is to educate teasingly, as if you’re only supposed to learn the broad strokes of a subject from fiction, but be compelled and riveted so much that you want to do research of your own. However, as I watched the show try to balance a dramatic theme, watched the actors dazzle me with the way they discussed inspiration, and artistic process, and tried to care about both Halston’s identity as Halston and as “Halston,” I wasn’t compelled to do much of anything other than go, “Oh, that was nice”. Maybe for this Murphy production that’s enough. All in all, Halston is a beautifully packaged show with beautiful acting performances and moments of visual splendor. It’s a terrific weekend binging fare if you haven’t seen it yet. When that happens to a show, not even the tour de force acting performance for its titular character, fun writing or spectacular glimpse into the glamour of New York’s Upper East side through the 1970’s and 80’s can keep a person interested enough for the story to truly stick. Though if one is looking for more information on anything gleaned from the story, like the AIDS epidemic, or Studio 54, or Martha Graham, I’d try to find different media resources. About the Author
Olivia is a writer based in North Carolina. She graduated from The New School College of Performing Arts with a bachelor’s degree in Dramatic Arts and enjoys viewing and analyzing media from plays (actual or virtual) to film and television. Her favorite writers tend to be playwrights like Lanford Wilson, Lorraine Hansberry and Tony Kushner, but her favorite books include The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah or The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid. When she isn’t watching or reading new work, she listens to Bruce Springsteen, knits, and watches book reviews and costuming/sewing videos on YouTube.
When Rocky Horror Picture Show danced into theatres in 1975, the now-iconic film was met with lackluster enthusiasm and an overall neutral response from critics. The movie was released on the heels of John Waters’s Pink Flamingos in 1973, a smash hit with the underground movie crowd found at midnight screenings. Audiences saw charm and camp in the bizarre, colorful scenes and catchy songs featuring Tim Curry as Dr. Frank N Furter, but little innovation or difference from other shocking flicks at the time. Acclaimed movie reviewer Roger Ebert gave the movie just 2.5 out of four stars, stating that “without the midnight sideshow, it’s cheerful and silly, and kind of sweet, and forgettable.” The “midnight sideshow” he refers to was the abrupt cult following the movie, attained after audiences began creating “counter-dialogue” to the film, which quickly evolved into costumed actors portraying those on the screen, moving exactly in time with the movie itself. And the rest is history. The movie became a phenomenon and is continuously played in theatres around the U.S. and U.K; it was even introduced into the Library of Congress in 2005. The movie is nearing its 46th birthday and still manages to stay at the forefront of musical and science fiction culture alike. As Ebert questions further in his review, “how long into middle age, after all, can one really continue to dress up like a Transylvanian transsexual?” As the original enthusiasts of Rocky Horror begin to fade out, the movie finds new life in an ever-evolving group: teenagers. A love letter to B-roll films and sci-fi flicks like Flash Gordon, Rocky Horror Picture Show is a sadistic, glitter-covered parallel to the biblical story of the creation of Adam. The movie chronicles Dr. Frank-N-Furter, a self-proclaimed “sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania,” on his mission to create the perfect man. The celebration of his creation, named simply “Rocky,” is interrupted by honeymooners Brad and Janet, looking for a phone after they get lost in a nighttime storm. The ultra-stereotypical couple realizes that they are in deeper than they thought, as the night descends into violent, campy hijinks. From songs like “Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch Me” to the beloved dance moves of the “Time Warp,” Rocky Horror’s reputation as shocking and sexual precedes it. In a country where sex education is highly unstable, often unreliable, and sometimes nonexistent, teens can find an unwavering message in the movie: Sex and sensuality are not shameful or embarrassing subjects; rather, leaning into sexuality and passion supports creativity and confidence. The film’s iconic tagline says it all: “Give yourself over to absolute pleasure.” The movie’s themes go further than just embracing the culture around sex, however. Brad and Janet, the seemingly normal, healthy couple, are the characters who appear to be the center of the story at the exposition of the movie. But at fan-attended screenings of the movie, shouts of “asshole” and “slut” can be heard adorning Brad and Janet’s entries, respectively. Certain posters of the show even depict Dr. Frank-N-Furter with the tagline, “He’s the hero - that’s right, the hero!!” Rocky Horror takes the typical cisgender, heterosexual couple seen in movie culture and flips it on its head--Brad and Janet are seen as bizarre and even immoral, a parallel to the reputation of non-heterosexual relationships at the time. Frank-N-Furter, both ambiguous in gender and sexuality, is revered, and even sets the standard for his companions and guests. It’s an emphatic message to a target audience of outcasts and societal refugees: you have a place, and you have a right to be yourself. It’s no wonder LGBTQ+ viewers felt such deep connections to the film. The movie and the community have a symbiotic relationship; Rocky Horror wouldn’t have rocketed to international fame if it weren’t for the first group of devoted fans, drawn in by its emphasis on sexual liberation. Some even credit the movie with allowing them to feel comfortable enough to come out. In a time where the LGBTQ+ community grows constantly and knowledge of the spectrum of sexuality becomes more commonplace, the movie remains a guiding light to people, especially newer generations, in every stage of sexual discovery. Even after decades of age, you’d be hard-pressed to find a city without a running Rocky Horror screening tradition. The movie has scattered its fishnets and heels across the globe and given a home to questioning teens and LGBTQ+ audiences alike. In the words of Frank-N-Furter himself, “Don’t just dream it, be it.” About the Author
Stella Garner (also known by stella marie) is a high-school student and writer based in Las Vegas. Her work focuses on the music industry, film and literature, and politics, and can be found in local projects such as For the Culture Las Vegas. She is inspired by authors such as Haruki Murakami, Richard Siken, Mary Oliver, and Kurt Vonnegut. In her free time, Stella writes poetry (and hopes to publish a collection one day), plays piano and accordion, and roller skates. Her other indulgences include: crosswords, 80s synthpop, oversized shirts with ironic messages, Coke Zero, and the novel Norweigan Wood.
My friend always asks me where my shirt is from, and all I can say is thrifted. She groans: Why can’t I find this at the local thrift shop? All that’s there are cringe-worthy graphic tees and old jean shorts. The problem: my friend doesn’t know how to shop like I do. She doesn’t know how to find potential in pieces or how to stay in a thrift store long enough to find the right pieces. Thrifting is never easy, but it’s also not impossible. Here’s a list of things to remember to help you obtain your vintage and second-hand goods like a master-thrifter. 1. Keep it ethical and give back. Thrift shopping is great for the environment because it reduces the amount of clothing that appears in landfills. It also reduces fast fashion and other unethical processes in the fashion industry. But, thrift shopping can also be unethical, if you don’t do it right. Thrifting is fun, but guess what else is? Donating to your community! Don’t just take—give! Donating a pile of clothes is always a good idea because it helps your community and clears out the clothes you don’t want anymore. Thrifting is a semi-controversial activity because some people see it as taking goods that somebody else might’ve needed. But, if giving back is a consistent part of your thrifting routine, everything can stay ethical and everyone can have a fun time shopping sustainably. Be sure to donate and buy a similar amount. Donate about as much as you hope to buy, and make sure you’re giving back clothes of similar quality to what you took away. Giving for each item you’ve purchased helps the store and people in need. If you donate more than you buy, that’s even better! 2. Know what you want. This is really a good idea when trying to do anything, but it’s always important for shopping. Before your trip to the store, ask yourself: Do I want Kurt Cobain or Gigi Hadid? Silk or tweed? Am I looking for Parisian chic or grunge? Whatever you’re looking for should be planted in your mind before you go. Figure out what colors, fabrics, styles and silhouettes you love before your trip. Knowing what you want makes it easier to spot on the rack. That way, you might be able to scope out the perfect green sweater from across the store. Then you won’t have to waste loads of time looking through racks because of your lack of aesthetic vision. Scroll through Pinterest before you go! This might also help you decide which store to head to. 3. Find the right store for you. The right store might be in the city, or in the suburbs, or wherever college kids drop their old crewnecks. It all depends, which is why you have to know what you want. For example, if you want more high-end clothing, find a wealthier neighborhood that has a store. Or, you can try out all the stores in your area and pick your favorite! You can do research, but for the most part, this step will be more trial and error. 4. Set aside a good amount of time. Sorting through racks of clothes doesn’t take five minutes. Speed-thrifting is a mistake; you’ll miss everything that has potential. It’s beneficial to spend a good minute thinking about a piece. Look at it from every angle. Do I have anything like this? Could I wear this with jeans? How would this look with my winter coat? 5. Since you could be at the store for a while, try setting the mood by making a playlist or mixtape. Inspiration comes from everything! My thrift mix is full of Bikini Kill, Nirvana, Avril Lavigne, Oasis and Blur. You might be inspired to try a new piece based on what song is playing. I really like this album cover, maybe I can find a piece with a similar color or design! 6. Bring a friend! It’s always fun to bring someone with you. Not everyone likes to be alone in an overwhelming store. Plus, it’s a second opinion. Your friend can help you find an awesome piece that you may have missed. If your friend can’t make it, turn on a podcast to keep you company and snap pictures of all the cute jackets to send to them later. 7. Speaking of missing things, be sure to check for stains or snags. Check for food or makeup spills, or loose stitches. Look at the piece closely, and then put it down and step away. That looks weird from this distance. If anything looks strange to you, hang it back up. 8. Don’t worry about size. Sizes really aren’t accurate in thrift stores, and they really don’t matter, either! Most thrift stores are overwhelming because they are messy or disorganized, which leaves pieces of all sizes and styles everywhere. You might find a blousey top in the middle of the little boy’s pajamas, or an XL in the mediums. But this isn’t necessarily a bad thing—it ensures that you’re looking everywhere. Different styles and sizes are scattered. You don’t even have to get clothes that are your size. Oversized is fun, too. Don’t be afraid to slam the door as you exit the room called The Comfort Zone. 9. Don’t focus on gendered clothing. It’s super cool to play with both masculine and feminine pieces—it doesn’t matter who you are. Don’t hesitate to head into stereotypically gendered sections, like men’s suits and dresses for girls. Mix it up! Combine masculine and feminine pieces to make a new look that works for you, not for society’s gender norms. 10. Go out of your comfort zone. Try a new style or color because you never know what looks good until you know it doesn’t. Be unique. Fashion sinning is fashion winning. Rocking an outfit that some might call a fashion disaster, is the sign of a fashion master. Start a new trend while staying sustainable. Now for a few hot-takes from a master-thrifter:
Thrift shopping is a fun way to get great deals on second-hand clothing while staying sustainable and ethical. It might seem hard or overwhelming at first, but every master-thrifter started as a rookie. Keep these tips in mind, and you’ll be searching racks and finding the best stuff in no time at all! Happy thrifting, everyone. About the Author
Ari is a small-town teen writer and poet who loves soup, skirts, and sonnets. Her mind is swimming in a pool of poetry, journalism, art, Emily Dickinson, feminism, fashion, Edgar Allan Poe, and disposable cameras. She loves writing to inspire and express, but the majority of her published work has been more news related. Her work can be found on her school’s online news publication- eSomethin.com- or on her social media. When not writing, she can be found listening to Bikini Kill, re-reading Percy Shelley’s “The Daemon of the World,” or riding her bike in the wrong shoes. She thinks everyone should: read The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath, own a leather jacket, and wake up early to watch the sun rise.
My whole life I knew someday my mom would get sick and I knew that when that day came I would be the one to take care of her. As a kid, I imagined us living next door to each other in matching mansions. I would invite her over to have dinner with my spouse and four kids. I would be able to afford an in-house nurse to take care of her when she needed the extra help. Late last year, that day came: my mother was diagnosed with dementia. In that moment of panic, I started researching how I could improve her chances of living longer. I sat in front of my laptop late at night and googled everything about her illness and what I could do to fix it. “Does olive oil help with dementia?” (Yes, because research has found that powerful antioxidants in olive oil help delay dementia in mice.) “What berries help with dementia?” (Antioxidants found in blueberries can help improve memory and cognitive function.) “Can it be reversed?” (No, there is no cure but there’s treatment that can temporarily improve symptoms.) “How many years can someone live with dementia?” (The biggest number feels small and the smallest number feels too close to zero.) On my worst days, nighttime is my enemy. I think about the number of days I may have left with her. I struggle to comprehend what my purpose in this world would be without her in it. Being a caregiver to a parent is a very complex relationship. I have to make sure my mom is safe while also respecting our mother-daughter dynamic. I have to let her be independent, but also be realistic about things she can’t do. We argue over what food she can and can’t eat. She tries to walk around without her walker. She doesn’t like to take her blood sugar. Sometimes it feels like I’m raising a stubborn teenager. My mom’s dementia gets worse when her diet isn’t good. She can improve her chances of living longer if she keeps her blood sugar low. I found all of the vitamins she needed to take. I researched almost everything she wanted to eat. However , she is still an adult with her own mobility, and I can’t make her eat healthy food or force her to care about her blood sugar. If my mom is going to raise her chances of living longer, she has to want to do it on her own volition. Parenting a parent comes with a lot of guilt some days. I mostly feel guilty that I didn’t notice her dementia sooner. My mom had a stroke two years ago and none of us knew. I wonder, maybe, if I was less focused on my college friends and crushes, I would have known that my mom needed me. I struggle with the guilt I have from not realizing that her forgetfulness and difficulty moving were signs of her getting sick. On my worst days, I’m stuck between feeling guilt about the way I acted in the past and what my life looks like without her. On those days, I feel imprisoned and scared to move in any direction. Those nights, I can’t sleep because I wonder if she’ll be there when I wake up. Truthfully, I’m in the same situation that all of us are in. Some day our parents will die. We imagine it happening when we are older with a spouse and our own family, some time when we’re fully established in the world. Our parents gave us life and at some point we have to make it our own. It’s hard to imagine them leaving our lives before that point. However, it could happen at any moment, and most of the time, Google isn’t going to be able to tell us why. That’s my favorite part of being a caregiver. I spend almost every day with my mom. I wake her up at 8am and immediately start preparing her breakfast. Her favorite is watermelon and she hates eggs. In her free time, she plays puzzles. She loves singing and dancing along to Glee. She loves stupid horror movies. She’s the funniest, kindest, and warmest person I have ever met. I am lucky to have her as my mom. I don’t know how I will move on when my mom is gone. A part of me feels I won't move on from losing her. A part of me will be rethinking these little memories I’m making with her, rethinking the little laughs that we share together. I still feel stuck between the past and future. I am working towards forgiving myself while also working on creating a safety net for my future grief. I hope to make friendships that I can count on in my dark days. I’m working toward creating an environment for myself that allows me to feel every stage of grief, including all of the stages that are still unknown to me. But today, I just want to enjoy hearing the sound of her unbelievably loud laughter.
Note: This article is spoiler-free for both The Handmaid’s Tale and The Testaments by Margaret Atwood aside from a few vague references and descriptions. Margaret Atwood is a highly renowned author in fictional, nonfictional, and poetic realms, as her work has been cherished for decades. A recent uptick in her popularity can be traced to her series The Handmaid’s Tale, published in 1985. The series explores a world where misogynistic extremists take over the American government. This book shows readers an escalation of our patriarchal reality, which makes it feel more relatable and easier to grasp, as many sexist ideologies rule over our present lives. Although film has become both increasingly accessible and popular, Atwood’s words still capture millions of readers. Literature maintains a hold over communities and provides a powerful source of entertainment and knowledge, so regardless of the role television has, books will always be just as relevant. Atwood contributes to the rising relevance of television and pop culture with The Handmaid’s Tale and its enticing sequel, The Testaments, as they have both become popular staples in America along with Hulu’s adaptation of this series. Circling back to The Handmaid’s Tale, Atwood puts women in different roles: Marthas, who do chores and kitchen work; Aunts, who act as leaders and teachers; and, of course, handmaids, who “work” for higher class families to produce children. Atwood mentions that all the ideas for Gilead, the name of the country the book is based in, are derivatives of historical events. I find it fascinating that Atwood includes a lengthy notes section at the end of The Handmaid’s Tale citing her research. She constructs Gilead through the eyes of a handmaid named Offred. As readers, we see Offred’s internal struggles as she navigates through the drastic societal changes this new regime presents. Offred has flashbacks which help us contextualize how Gilead came to be, but what really strikes readers is not the action, but in fact Offred’s coping mechanisms and thoughts regarding all of this. She tries to focus on herself and have faith that her daughter is still alive, and hopefully her husband Luke as well. Handmaids are constantly told to forget about their past lives and the classes they take with the aunts essentially brainwash them into following the new ideals upheld by Gilead. Offred internally rebels by choosing to hold on to her memories and the hope that her family is still alive, thus an emphasis is placed on emotional rebellion as opposed to outward action in The Handmaid’s Tale. A lot of attention is paid to small details; the inscription inside a drawer Offred finds, floral pillows, and rituals such as shopping with another handmaid and attending hangings. Sometimes they can be subtle but they all add to our understanding of Gilead and this new life women are forced into through the eyes of our sole protagonist. Atwood comes off as a sophisticated dystopian writer, or rather, The Handmaid’s Tale feels more complex than something like The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins and more mature than sci-fi fanfictions we used to rave over on Wattpad. Published in 2019, The Testaments is the sequel to this series and takes a different approach to Atwood’s world building. The most notable is that there are three protagonists in this book, as opposed to just Offred. I will refrain from naming them for the sake of spoilers, but you can take my word for it when I say that they are from drastically different views of Gilead. The plot is much more action-heavy which I think is fair to attribute that it was published after the first season of the Hulu adaptation aired (2017). Television versions of books tend to change parts of the plots for the sake of being more visually engaging for the audiences; it is key to making it binge-worthy, which is essentially the film version of a page-turner. The sequel follows the consistency of Atwood’s world building with regards to the characters and their interactions as well as Gilead’s stiff rules and ideology. There is more content on what life was like as the new regime overthrew the American government. It helps me contextualize what women went through when they were indoctrinated into these forced, new lifestyles. Aside from this, everything else is completely different between the two books. The Handmaid’s Tale is a psychological journey through Offred’s acceptance and adaptation to Gilead in a personal manner. It feels like a conversation between Offred and the reader as she talks about her flashbacks, her thoughts as she lays in bed at night, and her various relationships with people she encounters. Atwood writes as though we are on this journey with her and can see inside of her mind. I couldn’t put the book down once I started reading for this reason. To be completely clear, I also could not put down The Testaments once I started it. I loved both novels, but I immediately noticed the inconsistent writing style and structure in comparison to the first book. Atwood builds a more theatrical story in the sense that she balances three perspectives that later overlap, filling it with more drama, physical traveling, and action. There is an important scene involving a boat and traveling across the water, which felt immersive to read. The novel was truly engaging from beginning to end with all the visualization and suspense. I think that film adaptations, particularly action-based cinema, have a noticeable impact on literature such as The Testaments. It is clear to me that Atwood is trying to appease both her book and television audiences with her style of storytelling. It is hectic and suspenseful to read, just as I can imagine the show is to watch considering that the fourth season is already airing. Literature has transcended centuries of historical development and these adaptations to a new age of film are necessary, thus they keep people caring about books, even with the rise of television.
Lola is a Latin American student based in New York City attending Smith College who loves to write about a variety of subjects. You can find their work in The Sophian, which is Smith’s newspaper, and Citrus, Smith’s fashion magazine. She loves to read as well, and currently loves memoirs like Broken by Jenny Lawson and Hunger by Roxane Gay. They are passionate about art history too, and are pursuing a bachelor’s degree double majoring in english and art history. She loves hugs, early mornings, YouTube binges, and fruit salads. Someday they want to publish their own book and you can always find them wandering around a museum in the city.
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