pool paintings

by Nat Raum

after dreamland

i am standing at the edge 
of the pool                 like in whip it
like in the incredibly loud video
like hockney              like 
every coming of age movie 
ever                  except i didn’t have 
this moment              i 
didn’t have an arc     i just
woke up one day

i am cold          i am hard           i am not what that
republican i slept with one time expected of me         i
am not the queen of england                i am not the king
of denmark       i am flesh        i am bone    i
sigh                    face aglow in fuschia pink
every ounce of everything                   every ounce
dripping out of me like             watercolors bloom
along the path of least resistance         sometimes the
moment talks back                     sometimes it shouts

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Nat Raum (they/she, b. 1996) is just trying their best right now. They are a multimedia artist and writer currently working towards their MFA at the University of Baltimore. Their work is primarily based on their experience living with C-PTSD and often takes the form of books and zines that combine writing and photography.